Unlike a year ago, my company is holding no formal remembrance activities. There will be no memorial service in the park down the street from my apartment. Reports are that the services that have taken place or have yet to occur throughout the country are remarkably more low-key. There is talk on the news reports about family members "moving on."

On the drive to work, I noticed the flag at Town Hall flying at half-staff, as are the flags atop my office building. But aside from that, people are making their own remembrances. Neighbors made sure their own flags were out early. Co-workers are talking about where they were when they heard the news, how they felt, what they feared. I brought in my little plastic flag from one of last year's ceremonies and put it up atop my cubicle wall.

At 8:40am, a colleague e-mailed a picture of ground zero. I asked her if she wanted to go outside and visit the memorial tree we planted a year ago. We picked up two other people on the way out, and two more joined us there. We kept silence for a couple minutes, made a few comments, and came back in at about 8:50.

As I did last year, I listened to my CD of Mozart's Requiem. It's sad, but it makes me feel better. I'm not sure I understand that.

I am thinking about my cousin who was at work in the north tower and got out without injury but with memories of things too gruesome to discuss. Maybe I should call him. Maybe I shouldn't. I am thinking about dear friends in the service who have been and will be called to fight in the war on terror. I am thinking about my clients, past and present, whose attack-related disability claims I have handled. One is still on claim and due a benefit payment. I think I'll postpone cutting the check, so it doesn't have today's date on it.

Edit at 9:52pm EDT

P.S. At the end of the work day, I decided to call my cousin but realized I never got the (unlisted) phone number at their new house. So I called my aunt instead and asked her how he was doing. "OK," she said, "but I really think we just need to get past this." I told her I didn't know if that was possible in our lifetimes. The event itself has become known by the date, and every year on that date we'll think of what happened whether we want to or not. Besides, I don't know anyone for whom it hasn't become an integral part of our consciousness. After the shock is over, what's left is just reality.